The repair

Many think repentance is a feeling of guilt. John Climacus gives a far more practical definition: repentance is reconciliation through deeds opposite to what you did before. Whoever stole now gives. Whoever insulted now blesses. Whoever neglected his family now gives it his time.

He also warns of two false voices. Before the sin one says: it is nothing, God is merciful. After the sin the same voice says: for you there is no forgiveness. Both lie. The first pushes you into the fall, the second keeps you on the ground.

So despair is not repentance, but a new fall. Whoever falls gets up at once, and does not go back by the road on which he went astray, but by a shorter one.

Despair is a greater fall than the sin itself.

There is also a quieter trap: a tired conscience. If nothing troubles you any more, check whether you are clean or only used to it. That is why John asks for an evening review: every day, before sleep, where did I go wrong and what do I repair tomorrow. Great repentance soon wears out without the small, daily kind.

The question remains: why do we put off the repair so long, as if we will always have time?

N. Ž.