Voices under the window

There are thoughts that come uninvited: ugly, shameful, against everything a person holds sacred, and often precisely at the time of prayer or silence. John Climacus says they are born of pride, but he consoles at once: these thoughts are not yours. The proof is simple. How could I curse and bow down at the same time?

They are hard to say aloud, and so many have fallen into despair because of them. And nothing gives them as much strength as keeping them unspoken inside us. Today this rung is useful also for those tormented by intrusive thoughts of any kind.

The soul hears them like the words of passers-by under the window, but does not speak them.

You recognise them by shame: you think they are a sign that you are a bad person. They attack especially in silence. You fight them for hours, and they grow stronger. And you have told no one.

John’s remedy is surprisingly simple. First: know that you are not guilty. No one should consider himself guilty for thoughts he did not invite, and this is the first and most important step. Second: do not argue with them. Whoever tries to defeat them by argument, John says, is like a man trying to catch lightning with his hands. The fight feeds them. Third: despise them and carry on. Give them no importance, refuse them with one short sentence, and continue your prayer or work as if nothing had happened. They are reluctant to fight with those who pay them no attention.

Fourth: say them to someone. John tells of a monk tormented by these thoughts for twenty years, despite fasting and vigil. At last he wrote them on paper and gave it to an elder. The elder laughed and told him to give them no importance, and the thoughts vanished before he left the cell. If they torment you, write them down and give them to a spiritual father or someone you trust. These thoughts grow strong in the dark.

John also ties them to judging others: stop judging others and you will not fear these thoughts. The traps are hiding out of shame, despair, and wearing yourself out with fasting and grief, which does not help. And one important warning: if intrusive thoughts persist, cause great distress and interfere with life, it may also be obsessive-compulsive disorder, which responds well to treatment. Then you should talk to a doctor as well.

The sign that you have climbed: the thoughts may still come, but you no longer take them as your own and you do not fight them. They pass like the words of people under the window.

The question remains: what does a soul look like into which an evil thought can no longer creep?

N. Ž.