Watchfulness
The quiet time in which thoughts can be seen
John Climacus describes vigil as the guardian and hunter of thoughts, because in the silence of the night thoughts are easily seen. A wakeful eye cleanses the mind, and too much sleep dulls the soul. Long sleep, he says, is a bad companion: for the lazy it takes half of life, if not more.
The farmer gathers his wealth on the threshing floor, and the man of prayer in the quiet hours.
For a man with a job and a family, night vigils are not possible every night. But vigil has a wider meaning too: wakefulness of soul, the ability to notice in silence what is happening within you and around you. Its absence is easy to recognise. You have not a single moment in the day when you are alone with yourself. The day passes on autopilot, and in the evening you do not know what you thought or felt. When you have time, you spend it in front of a screen until late. And you forget what you decided. John says the cause of forgetting is long sleep, and that watchfulness keeps the memory.
The practice begins with one time in the day. Choose your quiet time, when the house is still: late in the evening or early in the morning, before the others. Ten to twenty minutes for prayer and reflection. That is your vigil. Do it according to your strength, because God accepts a gift according to the means of the giver. Do not copy someone else’s programme.
After the quiet time, do an account, like a merchant at the end of the day: write down one thought, what you noticed in yourself today. And watch the moment right after, because John warns that scattered thoughts come then, wanting to steal what has been gathered. Do not pick up the phone at once. Stay one more minute in silence. During the day, make short stops: before work, after a hard moment, before you go into the house, and ask only one thing: where is my heart right now?
There are three traps. Vigil at the expense of health: whoever works late does not cut his sleep below the limit, because watchfulness should make you clearer, not exhausted and irritable. Work instead of prayer: when drowsiness takes you in the quiet time, stop and rest, but do not replace silence with work. And pride in vigil. Do not talk about your quiet time.
The sign that you have climbed: you have a daily quiet time, you do not easily skip it, and afterwards you feel clarity, not tiredness. John says whoever has reached this rung has received light in the heart.
The question remains: why is it that in silence the fears appear first?
N. Ž.